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Saints A vs Cobo

Saints A vs Cobo
KGBV, 8/7/10

Report by DJ

The difference a week makes. After consecutive losses in the last 2, we were keen to put things right with a win against Cobo. Continuing the recent trend of a complete inability to field a side consisting of more than a handful of registered A team players, however, Scrappy and George once again maxed out their phonebooks in pulling together a side. It’s why I love this club – even having played two or more games already this week, the boys will still turn out, no questions asked. Making their 2010 Season debut for the A’s were Jimmy “Furbrush” Ferbrache and Tim “Timbo” McNab. Back for some more action – Chris “Oooh me guts” Hurley, John “Purderino” Purdy and Al “I’ll catch anything” Streeting.

Continue reading Saints A vs Cobo

Saints XI vs Optimists

Saints A XI vs Optimists A
30/06/10 @ KGV

Saints A’s poor season took a turn for the farcical with a complete stuffing at the hands of Optimists. Able to field just two registered A team players, the club was, once again, asked to fill in the gaps – and trying to find 9 other men can be no easy task. At one point, George was going to ask Sue if she could pop the pale blues on, but in the end, the Saints lads stepped up and turned out an XI. But the eventual result was not much more than a formality.

Saints won the toss and inserted the oppo, which might have been a move simply to try and prolong the game, the Saints bowling attack started off – Ishywar at one end, FezzleDizzle at the other. Both lads worked hard and did a good containing job, keeping the run rate down in the first 4 overs. And with the KGB5 mat playing like an old trampoline that had been left out in the rain for 10 years, nothing could be taken for granted. A ball on a length was either tickling their ankles or whistling past their noses. As the pressure built, Ishy got the breakthrough for a steepling catch for our fielding-allrounder, Heath Brock. First change was Marc Guille with his gentle off spin. After a couple of looseners, he found a nagging length and was soon dropping them on a penny, and was hard to get away. With some good chat from Fezzle, Guillo soon accounted for former island player Van Vliet. Jonty Ledger replaced Fezzler and found a good straight line, and picked up a couple of quick wickets. At 60 odd for 4 of about 8 overs, things were looking beginning to look good for the Saints.

Continue reading Saints XI vs Optimists

Report: Saint Saviours A vs Saint Martins

23/06/2010
Port Soif

Report by a dejected DJ

Seeking to avenge the defeat from earlier in the season and cement a place at the top of the table, a depleted Saints A side took to the field. George and Brocky had done a sterling job to make up the numbers from an injury/commitment/football ravaged Saints teams sheet.

Brocky won a good toss and inserted the oppo. Saint Saviours got off to a flyer, taking wickets at regular intervals. Everyone got a sniff of the action, with Doddy, FezzleDizzle and Ishy all picking up quick wickets. It was about the best fielding performance Saint Saviours have put in all season – everyone alert and keeping the run rate down. Goodie (when he finally turned up) was in the middle of the action with a couple of catches, including a stunning low diving catch away to his right off DJ2, and a couple of sharp stumpings, and a clean sheet on the byes front. Olly Tapp and Steve Eulencamp were visions of youth in the field, throwing themselves about left, right and centre, little Tapp picking up an impressive battle injury the length of his right forearm, which is sure to scar nicely and win some points with the ladies. The oppo struggled to get the ball away and instead had to nurdle the ones and twos. Brocky and Deputy Dave bowled the last 4 overs, and even Brocky picked up a couple – Saint Martins finishing on 99 for 9 off their 20.

There’s no easy way to write the next part, because the result was regrettably all too predictable. Suffice it to say that the “low target gremlins” struck once again, and Saint Saviours, faced with a meagre required rate of 5, made a complete hash of the run chase, in an innings that boasted 2 golden ducks (yours truly included), at least 3 more less than 5 and only two men making double figures – RV was unlucky to be given out caught behind trying to upper cut a blatant no-ball that whistled past his nose, and Brocky gave it a bit of welly for 25. There were no real highlights of a batting performance that moreorless gifted the win to the oppo. In should be said that the bowling made the most of the Port Soif mat, and, importantly, they held on to all the chances that we so willingly gave them.

Games like this are always a massive disappointment and it’s often hard to lock down the cause of such abject failure. We know we should have won, and we should have done so comfortably. There is no concession or excuse that it was a weakened Saints A side as there was more than enough talent in the top 7 to see the runs off with time to spare. Having done all the hard work to keep the oppo to a low target, the application and concentration, starting at the very top of the innings, simply wasn’t there. At just 5 an over, there was no need to be hitting, especially in the air, and at least 6 of the 10 Saint Saviours wickets will accept they contributed to their own, and the team’s, demise.

It’s done and it’s time to regroup and pick ourselves up, ready for the next. We can still win the league – but there’s no room for any more mistakes. Up the Saints.

Match Report: Saints A vs DHS St Pierre

Saints A vs DHS St Pierre
17/10/2010 @ home ground (Port Soif)
Result: Saint Saviours beat St Pierre easily.

by “Mike” Thornton, aka DJ

At an eerily listless Port Soif, which now feels like Saints’ home ground, the Saints boys turned out after a week off, still feeling the pain from their narrow defeat to Rovers. Things weren’t looking too clever from the off, with an already weakened side suffering from last minute dropouts, suggesting that Saints were on for a struggle. But there’s one thing you can’t fault about Saint Saviours Cricket Club – the strong and determined spirit that runs throughout the whole club – and the gaps in the side were plugged purposefully by Alex Streeting, Ishwar and a debut for mini-TV Tom Veillard.

In a tactical change of direction, skipper Scrappy let vice-skipper Brocky handle the toss. Playing right in to our hands, they called correctly and asked Saints to bat. RV and DJ1 opened up. DJ was quickly suffering from the strong sunshine and unusual lack of howling wind (weather-wise), and failing to find the boundary, which meant a lot of running. Fortunately, RV was unphased at the other end and was soon picking off a rather lacklustre St Pierre bowling attack. 6 overs in and the score had raced to 60 with the only threat to the run-scoring being DJ keeling over. RV soon passed 50 and with the score on 80 odd, DJ finally found the middle of the bat, only to see it scream directly in to acrobatic hands of wide extra cover, departing for 24 and a bit of a lie-down in the shade. This brought Kneller to the crease who, in judging the complete lack of threat from the bowling, elected to don the floppy wide-brim instead of a helmet. A good call, and the free flow of runs continued.
Continue reading Match Report: Saints A vs DHS St Pierre

Match: Saints A vs Grant Thornton

Saints A vs Grant Thornton
10/03/2010
Port Soif (again)

Match abandoned due to rain. Both sides get a point each.

Match Summary: Saints A vs Rovers

Saints A vs Rovers A
03/06/2010, Port Soif
Saints lost by 4 runs.

The top of the table clash between Saints and Rovers went to the wire. Rovers batting first got off to a flyer, and were 60 odd for no wicket after just 6 overs. A huge total was looking likely, but fortunately some superb, tight bowling from the Saints lads, soon reined them in. A couple of quick wickets helped to stem the flow and after their 20, Rovers had got to 140 odd. After the start they’d had, this was an excellent display from the Saints bowlers and fielders. 140 was very gettable.

Unfortunately, though, the Saints batsmen struggled to get going. DJ and Brocky opened and got away to a painfully slow start, with only 30 runs on the board after the first 6. Wickets fell at regular intervals with only RV managing to form any sort of an innings. Saints were faced with 15 (ish) needed from the final two overs, and despite some good hitting from LittleBig, Goodie, Dj2, Marc Guille and others, fell an agonising 4 runs short at the end.

A horrible feeling for the Saints boys, knowing that we should have chased down that total with balls to spare. Seems to happen though – small totals are always harder to chase.

Never mind boys – Rovers 1, Saints 0 – we’ll have ‘em next time.

Highlights:

DJ2 4-0-25-1
PB&J 4-0-19-2

RV 35
PB&J 27

Report: Saints A vs Corinthians

Saints A vs Corinthians
27/05/10, KGV

By Owen Brock(back)

On a tropical, sunny, Thursday evening, Saints took to the field against their Wanderers stablemates looking to inflict a defeat which would allow the weekend boys bragging rights, and more importantly continue a fine winning streak which has seen us top of the league. Lily duly strode out to the middle with the oppo skipper, and no surprises – lost the toss. Saints were asked to set a total, which actually worked out rather well as Goody was at a meeting about little boys. (I have asked for an invite to the next one, but apparently it is priests and teachers only.)

Continue reading Report: Saints A vs Corinthians

Report: Saints A vs Cobo Tigers

Saints A vs Cobo Tigers Kris Mowheenenddurl.
Thursday 20/05/2010, Port Soif.

Report by Sir/ Master Goody (with a bit of editing from DJ)

Much has been said as to the rejig of the divisions this year and it’s had no bigger effect than on Cobo. Saints have been the only team in recent seasons to threaten to beat Cobo, despite them fielding pretty much an Island XI. Only on a few occasions has the game been a one sided affair. The new rules and regulations have forced Cobo to field a lesser side in the new Division 1 evening league format and it shows – the Cobo team that on the evening contained a few familiar faces and a good deal of the colts team that have played lower down the leagues in previous years.

Cobo weren’t the only side to be making radical changes to their side. After just three games, Saints were struggling to field 11. NewDJ and Cynthia both unavailable. Onagainoffagain Ben Driver, same. Lee Gallienne has done the dutiful and returned to his beloved (and struggling) Div 4 Strollers – seems a waste of a quality bowler, but such is life. Marc Guille is showing his true Saints colours by stepping up, again, and with OldDJ back from melting bits of metal together, Saints find themselves with 10 men. Not happy with that Brockback and Scrapdog pull out all the stops in finding their man – and after 2 years of assertion that he had retired, the Saints legend Phil “PC” Challenger is coaxed back in to donning the blue shirt and taking to the field for the mighty Saints. And what a sight it was. (Did we stitch two more shirts together again?)

Continue reading Report: Saints A vs Cobo Tigers

Report: Saints A v Optimists

12 May 2010

On a balmy night at the new tropical Port Soif – when have we ever played a game there with no force 9 “Freemantle” blowing in ? – the Saints A team regrouped with a point to prove against Optimists following their poor performance against St Martins last week.  Things did not start well when Captain Savage once again lost the toss (queue many Carry On gags about ‘useless tosser’), and Saints were duly inserted once again, rivalling BrokeBack’s performance in the local Candy Shop.  Veillard and Noyon tried hard to get the runs flowing from the off, with the former racing to 20 + in no time at all thanks to a calculated mix of some lusty blows and well timed shots.  It was not long however before Noyon duly brought Veillard down to his own level and the pair struggled to time anything with any real conviction.  With the pair also demonstrating  a running technique right out of the BrokeBack training manual, it was a blessing when Noyon finally fell for 33 off 32 balls – a stand of 79.  Goody came and went, respectful of the fact that the opposition were also his weekend team mates, and Ross scored a run-a-ball 9 for twice out, having been initially given out stumped off a no ball. No criticism of the umpire here though – it was Fez at square leg whom, having been put under fearful intimidation by the sole Gacus representative, gave Ross out, only to then point out to the trained and qualified umpire that no such dismissal was possible under the rules – queue a recall to the crease.  Ben Driver, the Saints Newbie, looked like he could be a useful signing with a well paced 21 not out off 15 balls, and Chris “Saints CC” Fisher posted an average enhancing 4 not out in the final total of 121 in 16 overs.

With Driver claiming physical exhaustion due to complete lack of any pre season training, it was left to Noyon and Savage to open up the bowling.  The latter bowled a tight line and length; the former tried to bowl a tight line and length, but a sticky slower ball let him down a couple of times – the bright flashing lights and ringing cash till sound as the ball made its slow way down the wicket alerting the batsman to a welcome boundary scoring opportunity.  No worries as Ishy gracefully plucked a catch off his bootlaces to claim a scalp for Savage and Noyon was put out to grass, replaced by the suitable refreshed Driver – or was it a ploy to bowl the Yorkshire midget before he seized up ?  Either way, the move worked as the runs dried up and the required scoring rate increased at a pace.  Doddy brought on in place of Savage at the other end, and what a good change it proved – wicket first ball – bowled – well rolled back to the stumps. But who cares tell your story walking young man your out ! Doddy continued to bowl as well as anyone without getting the rewards he deserved – in the main due to Ross “Island Player” Kneller grassing an easy chance and blaming the moon being in Venus – or was it due to his watch being a day out ?  Either way it made no difference as Doddy picked up a wicket next ball, hitting the stumps again to avoid having to rely on a team mate.  Nothing more of note really happened from there on in, apart from Noyon taking two in two balls and being denied the hatrick thanks to a simple drop by Doddy. Ok, ok, so the drop was off the ball before the first wicket fell, but a hatrick is still a hatrick, eh.  Either way, the result was the important thing -  a comfortable win with the wickets shared around and a good, solid all round team performance.  Job done, covers put on (once again) and bring on the next oppo.  Oh, and two umpires please.

By Spencer ‘my bat still looks new’ Noyon

Report: Saints A v St Martins

Sorry for the lateness of the post but been having a bit of trouble working out how to post. Technology eh ! – what ever happened to a nice handwritten newsletter delivered by a small boy on a bike. So doing this from memory without a scorecard.

Venue: The always cold KGV where the changing room is particularly fragrant !

Saints A v St Martins – now was it Wednesday or Thursday last week. You know I’m not sure. You see because of the bank holiday it put me out of kilter. You see Mondays I normally do a 15 mile run with Elvis, Tuesday I have tea on the moon with ET and Wednesdays I normally work until 8pm. But this week I forgot to change the date on my watch and, well, I won’t bore you anymore as you’d think I was a plonker.

The Game.

Unfortunately Brocky’s run of getting 11 A teamers on the park ended after a run of 1 game. Missing DJ (doing motor vehicle maintenance at school) and Tappy (training for something – the something is unknown but it sounded good) and Lee the Fridge (who we later find out is discussing personal terms regarding a early season move back to Strollers). But no worries, in comes Mark ‘the young Ben Elton’ Guille and Ishy (everybody’s favourite Scrabble name).

Saints lose the toss and as expected are inserted. Batting line up – RV, Ox, Pretty Boy Ross, Cynthia* and Goody. No more needed thinks Skip. Anybody seen Ross ? To cut a long, and as yet not understood, story short, Ross is unable to join us due to strange phenomena known as 30 days in April and (what is more commonly understood) that Ross is a plonker. So this time Ross doesn’t just forget his contact lenses, socks or trainers he actually forgets himself. That leaves us with 10 .

RV and Ox get us off to a flyer. RV in particular punishing anything short and wide. The Ox is still worried about his new bat decides air won’t hurt his bat like that nasty leather stuff. We are rattling along at 10s for the first 5 or so overs but both RV and Ox depart in quick succession to catches. Cynthia in, 3, Goody, 4. Neither really get going. Goody’s stay is fairly short but brutal as usual. Next in Mini DJ. MDJ tries to pinch a cheeky quick one. Oh no, a direct hit! And we all know umpires love a direct hit. On yer bike Monkey. Brocky next. Didn’t see how he got out because unfortunately I was padding and nobody likes to see that. However by all accounts, well Brocky, it was a good catch. Dodddy up next. Doddy has promised to find another shot this year to go along with the back foot defensive and big pick up to leg (It’s ok Doddy personally my one shot has served me well – apparently !) Cynthia departs the score is around the 80 mark with 3 and a bit overs to go. Scrappy up next – oh dear, will we get to that magical 100. Doddy perishes for the cause just short of the mark. Next in tippy toes Scrabble man. The fleet of foot Ishy and the puffing and wheezing Scrappy run the ball about ‘elegantly’ (!) and Saints finish on 113 for 8 after 16 overs.

Saints take to the field. Not much to report really. Difficult with 10 men – there is always a gap. All the Saints bowled well, particularly Cynthia with a well deserved wicket. Doddy also bowled well and deserved his wicket and the second and only wicket to fall. The St Martins batsmen had this unique knack of ‘dollying’ the ball up just where there were no fileders. Skill or luck – I know where my money was. Special mention to Ben Elton who fielded like a demon. Collectively Ben was forgiven his misjugdement of the flight of the ball right about the time he asked if we were going to be having fielding practise during the season. All those in favour …….. where is everyone ?

St Martins won by 8 wickets in the 15th over. Note to self that result will be reversed next time.

* for all those wondering Pete the man with no nickname has, for my own humour been, referred to as Cynthia (as in Cynthia Payne of 80s swinging fame). A tenuous link granted but the best I could do on a bank holiday Monday. Oh no, bank holiday Monday am I having tea with Elvis or running to the moon today …. Ross please help.