12 May 2010

On a balmy night at the new tropical Port Soif – when have we ever played a game there with no force 9 “Freemantle” blowing in ? – the Saints A team regrouped with a point to prove against Optimists following their poor performance against St Martins last week.  Things did not start well when Captain Savage once again lost the toss (queue many Carry On gags about ‘useless tosser’), and Saints were duly inserted once again, rivalling BrokeBack’s performance in the local Candy Shop.  Veillard and Noyon tried hard to get the runs flowing from the off, with the former racing to 20 + in no time at all thanks to a calculated mix of some lusty blows and well timed shots.  It was not long however before Noyon duly brought Veillard down to his own level and the pair struggled to time anything with any real conviction.  With the pair also demonstrating  a running technique right out of the BrokeBack training manual, it was a blessing when Noyon finally fell for 33 off 32 balls – a stand of 79.  Goody came and went, respectful of the fact that the opposition were also his weekend team mates, and Ross scored a run-a-ball 9 for twice out, having been initially given out stumped off a no ball. No criticism of the umpire here though – it was Fez at square leg whom, having been put under fearful intimidation by the sole Gacus representative, gave Ross out, only to then point out to the trained and qualified umpire that no such dismissal was possible under the rules – queue a recall to the crease.  Ben Driver, the Saints Newbie, looked like he could be a useful signing with a well paced 21 not out off 15 balls, and Chris “Saints CC” Fisher posted an average enhancing 4 not out in the final total of 121 in 16 overs.

With Driver claiming physical exhaustion due to complete lack of any pre season training, it was left to Noyon and Savage to open up the bowling.  The latter bowled a tight line and length; the former tried to bowl a tight line and length, but a sticky slower ball let him down a couple of times – the bright flashing lights and ringing cash till sound as the ball made its slow way down the wicket alerting the batsman to a welcome boundary scoring opportunity.  No worries as Ishy gracefully plucked a catch off his bootlaces to claim a scalp for Savage and Noyon was put out to grass, replaced by the suitable refreshed Driver – or was it a ploy to bowl the Yorkshire midget before he seized up ?  Either way, the move worked as the runs dried up and the required scoring rate increased at a pace.  Doddy brought on in place of Savage at the other end, and what a good change it proved – wicket first ball – bowled – well rolled back to the stumps. But who cares tell your story walking young man your out ! Doddy continued to bowl as well as anyone without getting the rewards he deserved – in the main due to Ross “Island Player” Kneller grassing an easy chance and blaming the moon being in Venus – or was it due to his watch being a day out ?  Either way it made no difference as Doddy picked up a wicket next ball, hitting the stumps again to avoid having to rely on a team mate.  Nothing more of note really happened from there on in, apart from Noyon taking two in two balls and being denied the hatrick thanks to a simple drop by Doddy. Ok, ok, so the drop was off the ball before the first wicket fell, but a hatrick is still a hatrick, eh.  Either way, the result was the important thing -  a comfortable win with the wickets shared around and a good, solid all round team performance.  Job done, covers put on (once again) and bring on the next oppo.  Oh, and two umpires please.

By Spencer ‘my bat still looks new’ Noyon